


By the Grace of

by Amoreanonyname



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Addict!Sam, Angelic Grace Kink (Supernatural), Cas is somewhat mistreated, Cas is the one they cheat with, Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Codependent Winchesters (Supernatural), Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Human Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Megstiel - Freeform, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, No Smut, POV Sam Winchester, Quote: Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically irrationally erotically codependent on each other, Sastiel - Freeform, Soulmates Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Wincest - Freeform, Wincestiel - Freeform, but mostly wincest and sastiel, dark sastiel, dark wincestiel, darkish Sam, mentions of - Freeform, on each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25777213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoreanonyname/pseuds/Amoreanonyname
Summary: Cas liked experimenting on Sam’s body. Playing with the limits of angel-human interaction. Sam actually liked it too - even when the results were nearly fatal.Especiallywhen the results were nearly fatal.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg Masters, Castiel/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	By the Grace of

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LaMepriseFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMepriseFangirl/gifts).



> This is NOT my usual fare, I know. God help me, I was talking to LaMepriseFangirl and we somehow landed on Angel Grace as an antidepressant, then on Sam getting hooked on it, and suddenly I had a fic. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Be aware, this is still... basically a Wincest fic, Sam in this fic views his, um, interactions with Cas as something more on the side of his primary relationship. References to Destiel and Megstiel.

Sam loved Dean. He adored Dean. Dean was everything that mattered to him, the entire universe, the person he lived and breathed and died (multiple times) for. He loved Dean in all the ways a brother should, and a few ways a brother shouldn’t. But Dean was also _a fucking lot_ sometimes, okay? Sometimes it was too intense, sometimes Sam wanted something different, something a bit more chill. Sometimes Sam needed, well.

Dean might drink like a fish, but Sam had a knack for finding more exotic addictions.

For the longest time, Sam and Cas, well, they liked each other well enough, but they didn’t really hang, not away from Dean. It took years for them to really start noticing each other, and when they did, Sam had to laugh. Dean had latched himself onto an angel that was… kind of a lot like Sam. Cas was quiet, bookish, introverted (well, he was an angel, he didn’t really _need_ people the same way…). Cas had a few rounds of blowing up the world with his good intentions, and Sam could relate to that pretty deeply. They understood each other. Over time, they developed a calm, easy friendship, in contrast to the intensity they both experienced around Dean. 

Cas was also pretty freewheeling with his grace around Sam, and Sam didn’t realize what was happening at first. Obviously he felt better every time Cas healed him up, after Gadreel, after injuries. Even when trying to drain out Gadreel’s grace, Sam literally wanted to die, but also… felt oddly calm? Regular blasts of grace from Cas didn’t remove the sting of the betrayal, the dirty feelings of his body being used. But it left him more even, grounded, able to handle the swirl of emotions his brother had left in his wake.

It’s not like Cas was being super specific when he was healing Sam. Grace has a way of giving the brain a boost too, it turns out. If demon blood made Sam cocky and aggressive, grace was like a supernatural antidepressant. Sam just always felt… good. Happy, even. A glow from the inside.

Cas liked experimenting on Sam’s body. Playing with the limits of angel-human interaction. Sam actually liked it too - even when the results were nearly fatal. _Especially_ when the results were nearly fatal. The adrenaline rush of a near-death experience, the pain and the breathlessness, combined with the wave of warmth Cas would emit towards him to heal him up was heady, left Sam exhilarated while strangely content. They played around inside Sam, a mutual mix of curiosity and excitement and guilt and _forbidden_ , in an entirely different way than Sam was used to. Cas knew him in a way Dean didn’t - possibly the only entity in the universe who could say he’d touched parts of Sam that Sam’s brother hadn’t. Getting this from Dean’s best friend felt like a betrayal of the highest order - which made it all the harder to resist.

After all, it’s not like Dean hadn’t done any of this. Why shouldn’t Sam get a piece too? They shared everything, after all. 

Of course, Sam was older, sadder, wiser, more responsible now. Not like before, when he needed a constant supply of the bad stuff from Ruby. He knew better now, not only for himself and Dean, but because he also gave a damn about Cas and didn’t want to treat him like a friggen dealer or drain him dry or something. Given how dangerous their games were anyway, it was rational to indulge only sparingly. Only every now and then. Let Cas move around in his body, try to touch his soul, try to contact God, try to do any damn thing he wanted. Heal up Sam’s wounds, the physical ones and the other ones. Send a blast of that warmth up his spine, into his brain, let his neurons blitz out, feel on top of the world for a little while.

Cas understood. He understood them both. Sam felt a little pang of guilt from time to time, because he knew Cas wasn’t always _happy_ about it. But he got it. Dean and Sam liked Cas. They loved Cas. Cas was family to them. But Cas was the side-angel. The one they both went to when they were mad at each other, the one they went to when they needed something the other couldn’t provide. Cas knew that even if he touched Sam’s soul, that soul had Dean’s name on it. He knew, as soon as the fight was over, the wounds were healed, Sam was coming down, Dean was cooling off, that they’d be gone. Back to each other. Back to their little club Cas could never fully be a part of. Cas knew, better than most, just what they were, and the futility of trying to be anything deeper to either of them than he already was.

Cas did it, and he stayed. Because he wanted to, because he loved them, because of Jack, because this was his home and they were his family, flawed and fucked up as they all were. Sam knew that late at night, when the rest of the bunker was sleeping, Cas was thinking of someone else too, from a long time ago. For that matter… she’d been inside Sam too.

Dean was right - it _was_ kinda dirty. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who read - again, I know it's not my usual thing, so if you read my usual stuff and liked this, great! If this isn't your bag, no worries, I'll tune my dial back to Wincest soon. ;) As always, feedback is life!


End file.
